Watching Her, Watching the Stars
by SnapesGirl2
Summary: This is the story that I'll be updating more than anything else.rnHermione and Severus learn that one night of unplanned passion can change their lives forever.
1. Default Chapter

Author's Note: I don't anything, the plot I do, but the characters are all created by the one and only, J.K. Rowling. I'm not getting anything out of this, except the enjoyment of typing and writing this story.  
This was written mostly in my English class, a way of my bored mind trying to keep itself awake. If it weren't for that class, I wouldn't have time to write anymore. 2. This is a SS/HG story, not really a romance right now, but I haven't finished it yet. There is a possibility it will end up being one, but as I see it right now, it might not be. Basically, Hermione and Severus share one night of passion that changes their lives forever. The story's told mostly from Hermione's point of view, with a little bit of Severus thrown in. Read and enjoy and if you want, leave me some feedback. Four stars mean that it's a new part, they didn't turn out right on   
Watching Her, Watching The Stars.

That night, her life changed. She hadn't expected any of this to happen. Of course it was partly her fault, but no one would have ever guessed this would have happened. Especially to her.

It started on a cold Friday night towards the end of December. It was the Friday just before Christmas, and the day of the long awaited Yule Ball. The day had started off as beautifully as it could, the big flakes of snow swirled softly to the ground as the sunlight broke through the white, fluffy clouds. There was no sign of foreboding or the slightest notion of something bad happening.

Everyone in the castle had been preparing for the occasion. It started the first week of December; the castle was filled with the buzz of the students discussing who was going with who and what they were going to wear. No one knew who was performing, Dumbledore had chosen to keep it a surprise. As for who was taking whom, there were many speculations, most of them true.

Hermione Granger was going with Ronald Weasley, only as friends. She'd stressed to him that it meant nothing, they were going as friends and nothing else. She wasn't sure Ron had got the point, but she decided to go anyway. At least she'd have a date. Harry, of course, was going with Ginny. He'd finally gotten over his nervousness and asked her to the ball. Hermione and Ginny had sat up in the Head Girl's room for hours discussing their choice of clothes and their choice of boys. They knew that this night would be a lot of things, but the beginning of the end was not something they expected.

As the Golden Trio and Ginny entered the Great Hall on the night of the Yule Ball, the lights dimmed. The music started and couples were flooding the dance floor. Ginny and Harry took off towards the floor and were soon enveloped in the crowd. Hermione took Ron's hand and lead him to the spot where Harry had just disappeared. They danced together, very close, and Hermione almost had to remind Ron that they were just friends.

The song ended, and she excused herself to get something to drink. Severus Snape was standing beside the bowl, scowling out at the mass of people in front of him. He reached towards the cups and poured himself a healthy dose of punch. Hermione started to do the same, watching the dance floor move slowly back and forth as the song changed from fast to a soft romantic tune.

Neither Hermione or Severus knew that the punch had been spiked. Earlier in the evening, a mysterious figure had walked in and dropped a bottle full of potion into the punch. It was a lust potion, one as powerful as the strongest liquor known to man. This potion caused the drinker to fall temporarily in love with the first person of the opposite sex he or she saw. It didn't affect every wizard the same, only those who had lost something in life, or were without love in their lives were affected in the worst way. They would fall for the first person they saw. But neither Severus or Hermione knew this as they took their first drinks.

It started as a light tingling around her heart. Nothing that bothered her at first, but then it got stronger. Her eyes opened in alarm. Her heart started fluttering, her chest felt like someone was hammering to get out. She clutched her chest and looked worriedly up at the man beside her. She was going to ask for help until she saw the look on his face.

He was in the same condition. He looked towards Hermione and felt the greatest need for her. Without turning back, he grabbed her arm and ran towards the door. He didn't even tell anyone else the punch was spiked, the need was growing stronger and stronger by the second and he knew if he didn't get her down to the dungeons soon, he'd have to ravish her right there on the floor for everyone to see.

They barely made it down, and before the door was closed, his lips were bruising hers. They captured each other in a rough kiss, hands peeling clothes off left and right. She probed his mouth with her tongue, and her hands never left the clasp on his pants. She successfully got them off and started working on the many buttons of his shirt before ripping it right off, buttons flying everywhere. He flung her tank top off, and let it fall softly to the ground as he picked her up and moved towards his bed. Her clothes were all off as he laid her down on his dark green sheets. She took his mouth in another passionate kiss while pulling off his boxers. He clamped down on her nipple, and she let out a moan that echoed off the walls. He started to move away from her, towards the bottom of the bed. She reached out a hand and in a husky, lust filled voice, she said, 'No, I just want you!' 

She awoke the next morning in the arms of someone that she wasn't quite sure of who it was. Hermione sat up and realized she was naked. She pulled the blanket up over her chest and looked over her shoulder. Severus was lying in the bed beside her, his arm still half wrapped around her. With her head pounding, she saw that he was half-naked, maybe fully naked. She was also in bed with him, the room spun as she started to remember the night before. She was pretty sure she knew what had happened, but that didn't take a genius to figure out.

Severus woke up beside her, grumbling about the horrible headache he had. He sat up and threw his leg over the edge of the bed before whipping around way too fast for his aching head.

'What, may I ask, are you doing here?' He seemed to know the answer and didn't push when she didn't answer him. She wanted to climb out of the bed and leave this place forever, but she was embarrassed to be in her situation. She pulled the sheet farther up and avoided his eyes.

'Miss Granger, turn around or close your eyes, just do something. I'm getting out of here.' She turned and waited until she heard him in the other room before even thinking of getting up. When she thought he was far enough away, she got up, dressed and ran back to her rooms.

When she got back to the safeness of her room, she cried. She'd always thought that her first time would be special, something she'd always remember and most of all it was supposed to be with someone she loved. It was nothing like it, it had happened because she was drunk, there was no other reason. She didn't even love him, she really hated him and now he had taken something away from her.

The holidays had ended and everyone had finally stopped talking about the Yule Ball. Everyone knew about the spiked punch by then, and they over talked it for days. Most people hadn't been affected, and those who had wouldn't soon forget it.

Hermione couldn't wait for classes to begin. She could go back to her normal routine and forget everything that had happened. She hadn't seen Severus since that night, and she had no intention of seeing him. It was inevitable though, her first class back was Potions.

Severus acted like nothing had happened; he barely even looked at her. To him, she was just a one night stand that should have never ever happened. But he couldn't shake the feeling that even though he wasn't in his right mind, he had defiled this young woman. It was different from the times he had to do it for Voldemort. Back then, he couldn't feel pain or remorse. This time, he could feel the pain of what he did, even if it wasn't really rape. He knew it wasn't his fault, it was whoever put the potion in the punch, but in the back of his mind he thought he was partly to blame. Years of being a Death Eater should have taught him self control, and yet again he failed.

Hermione walked into the Potion's classroom and sat down at her normal spot in the back of the room with Harry and Ron. She didn't look very well, her face was tinged with green and her hands were shaking. Severus could hear her tell Harry that she had been sick earlier that morning, but she had to come to class, she didn't want to miss anything. Severus watched her for a moment and seeing her face glow green, he said, 'Miss Granger, I'd appreciate if you wouldn't be sick in my classroom, go back to your room.'


	2. The Days Afterward

Author's Note: So it has been an incredibly long time. Tons of stuff has happened in my life and I haven't really had time for myself, let alone to sit down and write anything down. Hopefully this will be the start of a time where I can start writing regularly again.

Chapter Two: The Days Afterward

Hermione had made it back to her dormitory before the wave of nausea hit hard. She'd had to run to the lavatory, but made it just in time. She'd never felt this sick in her life and did not know why, all of a sudden, she was feeling so deathly ill. She thought it might have been the after effects of the potion, or maybe the guilty feelings she was having about that night. Once more she put her head over the toilet, hoping that this time would be the last time she was in this position, at least for the day.  
Severus had seen the look on Hermione's face as she left his dungeons that morning. He knew she was sick, and he knew that there was something else wrong. But then again, why should she act the same towards him? He'd had sex with her, almost against her will. She was not in her right mind, and while he wasn't in his either, he should have had the strength to attempt to think clearly. His training as a death eater should have taught him to resist the powers of whatever had come over him. It was okay that a 17 year old girl would lose her mind and succumb to her urges, but a man his age and his training should not have let this happen. He was able to turn off his mind towards Voldemort, but this had slipped past him. He felt almost bad about what had happened, it was his fault and he should have been able to stop it. He was the strong one in this situation and he'd ruined it for Hermione. Severus shook his head and turned his full attention back to the class of 7th years sitting in front of him.

Hermione had settled into her bed. She'd gotten up from the bathroom floor, changed her clothes and made it into her comfortable, warm bed. She let her head fall lightly on to the pillow and was going to drift off into a deep sleep. She curled up into a ball and deeply breathed as she closed her eyes. Hermione drifted off into a light, dreamless sleep before being awoken not five minutes later by a knock at the door of the dormitories. She grumbled slightly as she climbed out of bed and walked towards the door. She opened it and rubbed her eyes. It was Professor Dumbledore. He smiled slightly at her and motioned for her to come forward.

'Professor is there something wrong? I'm not in class right now, I'm sorry, I'm just not feeling really good' Hermione looked at Dumbledore with wide eyes, 'I just can't make it to class right now and Professor Snape told me to come back here.' She started to explain why but Dumbledore stopped her.

'Miss Granger, it's okay. I already know why you are not in class; Professor Snape has already informed me of your absence. But I would like to talk to you, if you would kindly come down to my office. I shall wait for you in the common room.' Dumbledore turned and walked back down the stairs, Hermione could see him take a seat on the armchair by the fire. She closed the dormitory door and quickly freshened up. She did not change out of her pajamas, but instead brushed her teeth and combed her hair until it looked half-decent. She opened the door and started down the stairs. Dumbledore stood up, and waited for her to descend the staircase. Slowly she walked down the stairs and was soon standing beside Dumbledore.

'My dear, are you ready to go? I shall accompany you.' Dumbledore reached out his hand towards Hermione and she took it. She was feeling a little dizzy but with Dumbledore's steadying hand, she was able to walk up to his office.

Inside the office, Hermione took the chair closest to the fireplace. She was feeling a little cold and the nausea was starting to come back. She shook her head to try to get rid of the sick feeling. 'Miss Granger, are you feeling all right? There is a lavatory to your right if you need to use it. You are not looking well, my dear. If there is anything I can get you, just ask.' Hermione shook her head 'no'.  
'Thanks for asking, Professor, but I am fine. I'm just feeling a little sick, been feeling this way for a little over a week now. I think I have a stomach flu.' Dumbledore smiled at Hermione but did not meet her eyes. He looked at the door and checked the clock on his wall. As if right on cue, the door opened. Severus Snape stalked into the room and looked at Dumbledore.  
'Good morning, Headmaster. Could you please tell me why I am here; I have a class to attend to very shortly. And you know how the 3rd years are, they will have my classroom in disarray.'

'Yes, I will try to explain as quickly as I can, but I have already set up a replacement for your class. If you will please sit, I will begin explaining as fast as I can with as much detail as I can.' Severus took a seat in the other armchair opposite Hermione. Both Hermione and Severus looked at Dumbledore, both trying to figure out why the other was there. 'I know you are both wondering why you are here. You have done nothing wrong, many people in your seats do occasionally think they are in trouble. I have brought you both here so I can tell you what happened on the night of the Yule Ball.' Hermione looked towards Severus and blinked. He must have told Dumbledore what had happened.  
'Headmaster, I can tell you what happened that night. I acted totally out of character. I shouldn't have let anything happen. I apologize, Miss Granger, for taking advantage of you. I should not have let that happen, I could not control myself. It is entirely my fault and I take all the blame.' Hermione looked at Severus; she did not remember him taking advantage of her. She could not control herself that night and that scared her.

'No, Severus, that is not what happened. I cannot say that what you say happened in your private studies that night did not happen. I am almost sure that it did happen, but the circumstances that surround it are not your fault. It is not Miss Granger's fault either. That night, someone, most likely playing a prank, put a powerful lust potion into the punch. I do not know who this person is, but they intended to wreak havoc on the school. After seeing what had happened to the two of you, I quickly disposed of the punch. You were the only two affected, but it has affected you greatly. You both lost your wits, and Severus, do not blame yourself. This potion was so powerful that even the strongest of men would not have been able to control themselves. What happened that night happened because of someone's prank. You two know what happened while you were alone and nothing can change that. But I need to know, Miss Granger, are you on any form of birth control?'

Hermione was taken back by this comment. She had been a virgin up until that night. She didn't have a boyfriend and was not seeing anyone seriously or at all. She hadn't had to think about any of that. She hadn't planned on thinking about it until she had a serious relationship or at least was thinking of a serious relationship.  
'I am not. I wasn't planning on having sex or anything and I was definitely not planning on this happening. I didn't think I had to worry about it yet.' Hermione looked at Severus, panicked.

'Now, Miss Granger, it is not your fault. I would like you to go down to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey has already been informed that you are on your way. She knows what to do. Severus will accompany you, as this is important to him too. Severus and Hermione, I wish you this best in whatever the outcome is.' Hermione and Severus knew that this meant they had to leave. Hermione got up first and walked towards the door and Severus followed.  
'Thank you, Headmaster.' Dumbledore nodded and bent his head over the sheets of paper on his desk.

Severus and Hermione walked slowly down to the hospital wing. Neither of them spoke or even looked at each other. They arrived a couple minutes later and Madam Pomfrey greeted them solemnly at the door.

'Miss Granger, please go behind the curtain. Severus, you may take a seat right here. We will be out in just a minute.' Hermione walked behind the curtain and saw that there was a bed set out. 'You can take a seat on the bed, Miss Granger. This is not going to hurt. I am just going to put my wand up to your tummy. After saying the incantation, the wand will spark. If they are blue, you are pregnant, if they are pink, the test was negative. Let's hope for the best.' Poppy put her wand up against Hermione's tummy. A cold feeling came over her as the wand started to shake. Blue sparks started to shoot out of the tip of the wand.

'You now have two choices.' Poppy did not give Hermione any time to think about what was happening. 'You can continue this pregnancy or I can help you terminate it.' Hermione stared at Madam Pomfrey, she did not know what to say. This was becoming too much for her.

'I'd like to talk to Professor Snape first before I make any decisions.' Poppy nodded her head and pulled back the curtains to allow Hermione to leave freely.

As Hermione walked back to where Severus was, he looked up. He could see the fear in her eyes and knew that she was not going to have any good news for him today. Severus stood up and looked Hermione in the eye, he wanted this to be over with and he wanted her to tell him now. 'Professor, it was positive. I'm pregnant.' Severus knew that this was coming. He could see the tears starting in Hermione's eyes, but he looked away. He did not want a child, especially with a girl who was just a child herself. He did not want to be in this situation, he wished he could find the prat who had put the potion in the punch. He'd kill whoever did this, they had ruined his life and ruined the life of a girl who was going to go on and do great things.

'Well, what do you want to do about it?' Severus knew there were two choices, but from his point of view, he could only see one viable option. He did not want a child, neither did Hermione, or at least he thought she didn't. He did not want Hermione to ruin her life because of one night of pleasure that was never supposed to be. 'If it were up to me, I'd say terminate the pregnancy.'

'How can you say that? This is our child, even if we did not want to create this baby, we did. Even in this situation, I cannot terminate the pregnancy.' Severus glared at her, she was a child, she did not know what was right. She did not know how hard it was to raise a baby; she did not know anything about the subject. Hell, she was 17, what did she know? She hadn't lived or really done anything in her life.

'I want this pregnancy terminated, there is no other option. I do not want this child and you shouldn't either. We can get this over with now and then we'll never speak of it again.'

Hermione was starting to get angry; she was also hurt that Severus could say such things about this child. 'Professor Snape, there is no way I am terminating this pregnancy, come hell or water high, this is not what I want to do.' Severus looked at Hermione with utter disgust.

'How is this not what you want to do? I have a life to live, and reputation to uphold. This child is unwanted.'

'It was an accident, it doesn't make it an unwanted child. I will not go through with this.' Severus shook his head.

'Well I don't know how you're planning on raising this child of yours. I will be no help in the matter. I am going and next time I see you, I hope that you will be childless.' With a sweep of his robes, Severus turned and stormed out the door. Hermione burst into tears and sat on the chair that Severus had previously occupied.

Madam Pomfrey looked at Hermione with pity. This was not a nice situation to be in and she did not know how to help. Instead of offering comfort, she asked Hermione, 'Have you made your choice, are you continuing this pregnancy or are you terminating it? I need to know now. If you are terminating it, we can start right now. If not, you can leave.' Hermione looked at her and then quickly averted her eyes. She didn't know what to do. She put her face in her hands and wept.


	3. And They Work It Out

Chapter 3:

Hermione didn't remember the walk back to her bedroom, nor did she remember climbing back into bed. She didn't sleep once she got there; instead her mind would not let her get any rest. She had told Madam Pomfrey that she wasn't going through with the termination and she left. Her mind went blank from there on until she had gotten into her bed. She had been trying to rest there for what had felt like hours. She couldn't get the words of Severus Snape out of her head. How dare he say something like that? This was his child too. But if he wanted nothing to do with it, she was going to raise this child. She knew her parents would be upset, but they would support her in whatever decision she made. She knew her cousin had been in this situation before, although in that case, her cousin willingly had conceived this child and knew what was going on. In Hermione's case, she knew what was going on, but she hadn't been in her right mind. She wasn't sure if she was in her right mind now, but being determined, she knew what she had to do.

Defeated, she got up out of bed and moved to her desk in the corner of the room. Hermione pulled out a piece of parchment and her quill. She hadn't written to her parents in a long time, she remembered the last time she had. It was at the beginning of the year to wish her parents a good vacation. Her parents had gone to Egypt for two weeks in early September. Hermione sighed, this wasn't going to be easy.

'Dear Mum and Dad,

How are you both doing? I am doing well. My studies are going well, everything so far has been what I expected. Actually, there is something that I need to tell you. I cannot do it in a letter. I'm going to see if I can get out and come visit you two one weekend in the next little while.

I hope to talk to you soon, I miss you both.

Love,

Hermione

Hermione reread the letter. She knew it didn't explain much, but she didn't feel she had to. Her mother would panic when she read the letter and would try to be in touch as soon as possible. She also didn't tell her parents who the father was, that was something that would wait until they met in person. Her parents would most likely panic and try to take Hermione out of Hogwarts. To Hermione, that was the worst thing that could happen, she wanted to finish her school career here.

Hermione sealed the letter and made a mental note to ask Harry if she could borrow Hedwig later on that night. She then climbed into bed and this time, fell asleep.

Severus finished his classes for the afternoon and stalked into his private studies. His classes had gone pretty badly since this morning, after finding out about Hermione and then her telling him there was no chance she was going to terminate the pregnancy. He had spent most of the day thinking about what she had said and everything that had happened. He, the potion master, almost blew up a cauldron today for the first time in his life. He saw his mistake just at the last second and was able to correct it before he disintegrated the whole class of second years. Severus shook his head, he'd never been in a situation like this before. He knew he was in deep, especially now that it looked like there was no chance of him not having this child. He didn't go back to see Madam Pomfrey, he didn't want to hear the news. Severus knew what was coming; Hermione was a Gryffindor, there was no changing her mind once it was set.

Albus Dumbledore had an inkling on what the outcome of this would be. He knew there was no way that Hermione was going to give up this baby but he also knew Severus was a very stubborn man when he needed to be. It was something else that the death eater training had taught him. Dumbledore was waiting in his office for the official word, Poppy had flooed in earlier to tell him that Hermione had left, but he was waiting for Hermione or Severus to come up and tell him. He knew it wouldn't be too long before one of them arrived in his office, Hermione would want everything planned out and ready months in advance. He also knew that she'd want to tell her parents in person and for that, she needed his permission to leave the school grounds. She'd also have to an escort, and Dumbledore hoped Severus would be up to the task.

'Come in,' Dumbledore answered before the person behind the door could even knock. Severus walked in and took the same seat that he had occupied earlier that day.

'She's decided to keep the baby, hasn't she?' Severus didn't meet Dumbledore's eyes, he didn't even blink.

'I do not know that answer to that, Severus, you will have to ask her yourself.' Dumbledore's comment was met with a glare and a sigh.

'Albus, don't do this. You know damn well what she's decided. Tell me.' Severus didn't take his eyes off of Dumbledore, he squinted hard knowing that he wasn't going to get the answer he was looking for.

'I can't do that Severus. It is Miss Granger's decision and if you want to know, you have to go talk to her. I can't do it for you.' Dumbledore clasped his hands and smiled slightly at Severus. Severus glared back, he didn't say anything but he knew that Dumbledore was right.

'As you wish, headmaster.' Severus got up from his chair and left the office.

Hermione had just woken up from her nap. She hadn't been asleep long, but when she woke up, she felt oddly refreshed. She stretched out on her bed and pulled the covers up past her neck. The woolen blanket felt warm against the previously exposed skin of her neck and cheek. She turned onto her side and found herself facing the door. She could see a piece of black fabric just outside the door. It hadn't been there when she went to sleep. Suddenly, a foot came out from beside the fabric; Hermione jumped and put her head under the covers. A knock came from the direction of the door.

'Miss Granger? Are you awake?' It was Professor Snape, he was still standing half hidden behind the door, as if afraid to look in.

'I am now that you've woken me up.'

'There are matters to discuss, would you mind meeting me in my studies when you are decent?' He didn't wait for an answer. Hermione could hear him walking down the stairs just as he finished his question.

'Yes, Professor Snape, sir. I'll do your bidding, sir. Prat' Hermione cursed Severus as she got up out of bed and got dressed. She continued to curse him all the way down to his studies and wouldn't have stopped but she ran into Snape at his door.

'I see you made it here finally.' There was no softness in his voice or in his eyes.

'Yes I did, no thanks to you waking me up. What is it that you wanted with me?' Hermione answered him in the same cold tone he had used with her.

'If you must, take a seat. Make yourself at home, do what you want.' Severus replied sarcastically.

'Fine I will.' Hermione shook her head; if he was going to be rude about this, she wasn't going to be nice to him. 'Could we get this over with, I would like to go back to my room.'

'You can as soon as you tell me what you've decided.'

'You already know, congratulations Professor Snape, you're going to be a father.' Hermione glared back at Severus. 'What did you think I was going to do? Just because you don't want this child does not mean I want the same. This is what I've decided and if you want no part of it, fine.'

'I never said I want no part of it, this is just as difficult on me as it is on you.'

'How is this as difficult for you? You can go scot-free, I can't. The most you'll have to do is pay child support and that's it. What do I have to do? I'm graduating this year, but where do I go from here? Nowhere, I can't go to college with a child, especially one I'm raising alone.' Severus could see for the first time that day, Hermione's eyes were filling up with tears. 'I've basically lost my whole future because some idiot decided to play a prank.'

Severus paused and thought about what he was going to say next. He walked over to the sofa on which Hermione had already say down upon. He cautiously reached over and placed his hand on her shoulder. 'I was not planning on abandoning you and our child. You may think I'm a monster, but I'm not. I will be there to raise this child no matter what. I'll admit, this was not the way I wanted it to happen. But this is my obligation and I will do whatever is necessary.' Hermione looked at Severus and backed away.

'If this child is 'your obligation', then forget it. Just because you're the father does not mean you have to be in the baby's life. If it is going to be such a burden to you, then go. I can do it on my own without someone worrying about a burden on their life.' Hermione got up to leave, but Severus stopped her.

'That is not what I meant. I am the father and I will do what is necessary to make sure this child has the best life. Miss Granger, I am not quite used to this news yet as I'm sure you aren't either. Just give me some time, I will come around. This isn't what I wanted and I'll be honest, I wasn't planning on ever having children.' Severus sighed. 'And come hell or water high, you are going to college. Don't let this stand in the way of your intelligence. You've done nothing wrong and you shall not be punished for this.' Hermione nodded.

'I'm going to go back up to my room now. Next weekend, if it is okay with the headmaster, will you please come with me to tell my mother and father?' Severus nodded his head and Hermione left.

When she'd gotten back up to her room, she wrote her parents a letter telling them she'd be there sometime next weekend and that she was bringing a guest. She sent it from the owlery and went silently back to her room. She didn't want to face anyone else yet. Maybe tomorrow, but not right now.


	4. So Far Now

Author's Note: So again, it's taken me forever to update, but here we go. I'm thinking I'm getting stuck with this story, too much going on and not enough inspiration right now.

Chapter Four: So Far Now

Hermione awoke the next morning feeling better than she had the previous morning. She knew that she was in for a long day and many questions from her dearest friends. She wished that she could just stay in bed, but missing two consecutive days of class was too much for her. She knew she needed to go, even if she had to face Professor Snape again.

She knew that he was only trying to help, but part of her still felt that he only thought of what should have been a blessing as a burden. He'd pretty much said it himself, and that was not something that she was going to forget soon. In truth, she knew she could not raise this child alone, but if she had to, she knew her parents would eventually turn around and help her. She wasn't even sure how her parents would react, but it wasn't like it had been her choice and hopefully, she thought, they'd be able to deal with the news.

Hermione yawned and got up out of bed. Her robes and school uniform were lying on the chair beside her bed, she moved towards them and picked them up. She took them into the bathroom and dressed before leaving Gryffindor Tower to go for breakfast.

Severus Snape woke up in a foul mood, but it wasn't because of yesterday's events. He always woke up like this, cranky and terrifying. As he'd always said, waking up ruined his day almost as much as dealing with the brats he taught everyday.

He hadn't slept well that night, but he never did, not since he'd become a death eater. Back then, he spent his nights worrying that what he did was wrong, that he should have never taken the oath and pledged his life to the Dark Lord. He knew he couldn't change it, but for the first many years, he sat awake at night thinking about nothing else. Then it turned into staying awake thinking about his double agency and worrying about getting caught. Now it was worrying about his life and for the first time, somebody else's life.

It wasn't even the baby he was worried about; not that he was worrying because he wanted to. He knew he had screwed up a young girl's life, a young girl who was at the top of her class and the head girl. She had so much to look forward to in life and he had ruined that. It was much like the many times he had to prove to the Dark Lord that he was a loyal servant. He'd had to rape more than one muggle born witch in his beginning days as a death eater. Severus had tried to put that behind him, but he had found it hard. For weeks after he could hear the young girls screaming and begging him to let them go. But he couldn't let them go he would have been killed for showing compassion towards a muggle born witch. He'd ruined their lives just as he had Hermione's.

Severus was not like the rest of the death eaters, he had only become one out of rebellion. Even then, he didn't want to become one, but there was no greater rebellion than becoming a death eater. He still had feelings; he had not become numb like so many of his fellow death eaters. He could not take the life of another person, not like Lucius. It was easy to see why the Dark Lord favoured Lucius. He could rape and kill anyone and not bat an eye. He did not feel any remorse; he did what he had to do and got on with his life. Severus had never been able to do that, and sometimes wished that he could just get on with his life after the horrible things he had done.

Severus was also worried about what would happen when Lord Voldemort found out about this child. Death eaters were supposed to marry purebloods and have pureblood children. This child would not be a pureblood and the Dark Lord would not be pleased. He would have lost a child before it had the choice to become a loyal servant.

Severus shook his head clear of his thoughts and got out of bed. He ran a very hot, steaming shower, undressed and climbed in. It was going to be a long day.

Hermione walked down to the Great Hall and sat down in her normal spot. Ginny was already at the table and she turned to Hermione.

'Mione, are you feeling better? Harry told me what happened yesterday, Snape can be kind of a jerk sometimes, don't worry about it.' Ginny patted Hermione's arm; much like Mrs. Weasley had done on many occasions before.

'I am, I think I just had the stomach flu or something, I'm feeling much better now. Thanks.' Ginny smiled and passed the plate of toast to Hermione. 'Have you seen Harry or Ron, I want to tell them I'm okay.'

'I haven't seen them this morning, but they had an early morning Quidditch practice. They should be here soon, no doubt Ron's starving.' Hermione forced a little laugh and took a bite of her toast.

Hermione had almost finished breakfast when Ron and Harry arrived at the table. They were both covered in mud and their Quidditch robes were soaked with rain. January had started out very wet and mild, there was very little snow on the ground and what was left was melting in the rain.

'You guys look wet, is it another cruddy day at Hogwarts?' Harry smiled while Ron nodded with a piece of toast in his mouth.

'It's just raining a little bit, you know, enough to flood the school, but other than that, it's beautiful.' Hermione giggled at Harry's comment. The bewitched sky was very dark on cloudy, exactly what Hermione was feeling.

Professor Snape walked into the Great Hall. He looked briefly over at the Gryffindor table and saw that Hermione had made it down. He knew she'd be in class today, she did not miss class even when she was sick. She wouldn't have missed it unless he told her off. She still looked ill, but not as bad as it had been.

Hermione finished another piece of toast and left for her first class, Arithmancy. Her head was not in the class today though, for the first time, she could not answer the question that Professor Vector had asked her. She was starting to feel ill and irritated again but did not want to miss anymore classes. She had potions work to catch up on, they'd made a potion on the day she missed and she needed to finish it. Potions was before lunch and it was the first class of the day that she was with Harry and Ron. She stopped at the washroom before going down to the dungeons and meeting up with the rest of the Golden Trio.

Severus waited as the last stragglers ran into his class, he enjoyed having this power over them. Even though they were all 7th years, they were still scared of him. None of them would be late unless they had a damn good reason and he didn't mind that, he didn't have to serve detention with him that way. Hermione was the last to arrive and she slipped quietly into her seat knowing that she was late, but Professor Snape did not say anything instead choosing to glare at her slightly before turning to the whole class.

'Class, these are your instructions,' He pointed his wand to the board and the instructions appeared, 'Follow them carefully and please, Mr. Longbottom, do not wreck another cauldron.' There were snickers from the Slytherins and looks of sympathy from the Gryffindors. 'Granger, will you please come into the hall?'

Hermione got up as the Slytherins again started snickering. She figured she was getting a detention, she'd been late and she knew it. Severus held the door open for her as she walked past him into the hall.

'Miss. Granger, by order of Madam Pomfrey, you have to stop working in this class. I can give you theory, but you cannot do the practical part of this course. It is unsafe for both you and the life inside you.' Hermione nodded; at least it wasn't detention. 'Now, if anyone asks, you are doing a special project for me and that you cannot be bothered. You can go back in.' Hermione opened the door and sat down, in minutes there was a big book of potions with a research question for her to work on.

At the end of class, she walked with Ron and Harry to the stairs and then excused herself to her room. She was feeling really ill now and decided that she could not make it to Transfiguration that afternoon. She laid down in her bed and took a nap.

Severus hadn't been paying attention to what the 1st years were doing and now he had a big mess to clean. He sent all the students out early and started to clean. When he was finished, he sat down at his desk and sighed. He didn't know what to do; this wasn't something he'd ever expected to have to deal with. All he knew was that he was in a serious situation where he was the adult and he had to deal with it the best he could.

With his classes finished, he went to his studies and sat in his armchair. He poured himself a glass of brandy and magicked a fire into the fireplace. He'd just gotten comfortable when the mark on his forearm started to burn. Severus quickly got up, threw floo powder into the fire and yelled, 'Albus!' His head appeared in Albus' fire, 'The Dark Lord is calling me, I will be back soon. Please have the normal arrangements prepared.' Albus nodded as Severus' head disappeared.

Severus ran out of his dungeons and through the Entrance Hall, he ran out of breath across the school grounds and disappeared out of sight.


	5. The Reason

Author's Note: I know it's been a while again, my heart or head haven't really been into this lately, so I don't know. I should write something really, really angsty as that's what I'm feeling. I'm hoping to get a little more of this story done first though.  
Chapter 5 – The Reason  
Albus Dumbledore, stationed in front of the fire with his face in his hands, was waiting for Severus to arrive back in his rooms. He'd been gone for more hours than he was normally away. Albus was starting to worry, this was very unusual, and he didn't know what to make of it. 

Meanwhile, the Death Eaters were still standing around the Dark Lord. They all nodded in succession as Voldemort told them his plans. After a very long discussion, he asked if Severus would step forward. A masked man stepped forward from the middle of the group and walked hesitantly forward towards his master. He then got down on his knees and bowed.

'Severus, what is happening with your dear friend the mudblood? Has she been enjoying her time since the Yule Ball?' Voldemort snickered and looked at Severus expectantly. 'Has she been feeling a little…off lately?'

Severus looked up at Voldemort, 'How do you know about that?' Again, Voldemort snickered.

'I know all about it, one of these people who stand around you had a hand in carrying out my plan. It worked better than I thought it was going to.' Voldemort waved his hand in the direction of a smaller man in a black cloak. 'Mister Malfoy here helped me. He made sure that you and Granger were close to the punch bowl, and then spiked it just before you two drank some. It worked perfectly; Granger is now impregnated with your child. This child will do great things, the product of two of the most brilliant minds that I could have asked for.'

Severus knew better than to ask more, he did not want the physical consequences. Instead he just bowed lower and then backed away.

'Now, all of you go back before it is noticed that you are away. I will be calling you again soon. And Severus, take care of that child, we'll be needing it in the near future.'

Severus made it back to the castle and ran to Albus' office. Albus was still sitting by the fire, waiting for Severus to make it back. He'd fallen asleep in the many hours of waiting, but was quickly awoken when the door was opened.

'Albus, the Dark Lord wants the child. He used Draco Malfoy to put the potion in the punch. It was all planned, Albus, he's going to use the child.' Severus panicked, it wasn't like him, but this time he wasn't concerned about himself, he was concerned with the child that was growing inside Hermione's womb.

'Severus, calm down. We will figure out what to do; do you know why Voldemort wants the child?'

'I don't know that, he didn't explain himself. He never does. He just said to take care of the child, he needed it.'

'There is an ancient branch of magic that not many people these days are even aware of. Voldemort can select a person; it is most often a baby, who will continue on with his crusades. This used to happen a lot in the medieval times, but has been almost non-existant since then. Voldemort can transfer all of the powers that he wants to the child and when the child is ready to use it, he or she can. Voldemort is not human enough for him to produce an heir, so he has chosen you and Miss. Granger to bear a child for him.'

Albus gave Severus a minute to think through the information that was just presented to him. Severus just shook his head and rubbed his eyes. 'I should go tell Miss. Granger.' Albus held up his hand.

'Give yourself a little time, Severus. Miss. Granger is probably going to be very upset and you're in no state to deal with that. Why don't you go down to your study and try to sleep.' Severus just nodded, knowing he had no intention of sleeping. He got up, thanked Albus and closed the door.

Severus did go down to his study, he sat in his chair and sighed. He knew that the right thing to do was to tell Hermione what was happening. He knew it was late, but he felt that she had a right to know. He got up and left his study and started on his journey to the Head Girl's room.

When he got there, he knocked lightly. He could see a light was still on from under the door. The door opened soon after, revealing Hermione in a nightgown. Her face was pale and she looked tired.

'I'm sorry if I woke you up, but I think we need to discuss something' Hermione stepped back to allow him in. She closed the door behind her and walked towards her bed. Severus took a seat on the chair across from her bed.

'You didn't wake me, I've been up all night. I finally got tired, but the morning sickness has started already' Hermione looked like she'd been up all night, her eyes were bloodshot and she looked like she could barely keep them open.

'You're not feeling well again? It'll end soon enough.'

'Soon enough, try another three months.' Hermione snorted.

'I'm sorry Miss. Granger. But there is something I need to tell you and it can't wait. I was called tonight, the Dark Lord is aware of your pregnancy.' Severus paused for a second, but Hermione interjected.

'How does he know? I don't understand, why did you tell him?'

'I didn't tell him, he already knew before I got there. He had this planned, he got someone to plant the potion and make sure we were there at the right time.' Hermione shook her head.

'But, wait, why did he want me to get pregnant. It's not like he'd be worried if I graduate or not.'

'He wants the child. He can transfer his powers to the child and then the baby, when old enough, can finish his work.' Severus stopped; it was a lot of information especially at this hour.

'Voldemort wants the child? I can't, I can't give the baby away.' Severus looked at Hermione, whose eyes were filling with tears.

'I understand, but he isn't going to. I don't know if there is a way around it.' Hermione had started crying, she was weeping loudly with her head in her hands. 'It's going to be okay.' At this, Hermione started crying louder. Severus reached over towards her, and very awkwardly, held her. Hermione collapsed into his arms, she didn't know what to do anymore. She was exhausted.

'Miss. Granger, you don't need to be worrying about this right now. Professor Dumbledore'll be trying to prevent this. Don't think about what might happen, focus on getting through what is happening. You're strong; you're going to make it through. This is just a setback, what you want is what you're going to get.' Severus continued to awkwardly hold Hermione until she'd finally fallen asleep.

The sun was just beginning stream through the window. Severus pulled out his wand and pulled the blind down. He let himself from Hermione and walked towards the fire, he flooed to Dumbledore's office.

'Albus, Miss. Granger just fell asleep. I'm going to stay here until she wakes up, I think she'll be wanting to talk then. Can you get a replacement for me? I probably won't be back all day.


End file.
